Boundaries 101 for Moms Who Hate Saying No
Me Time 4 Mom
Some people sneeze without warning. I…tend to say yes without a second thought.
Can you drop me off to play with Johnny? Yes.
Can you bake cookies for 25 kids by tomorrow? Yes.
Can you chair the committee you didn’t even know existed? Sure!
The truth is, moms like us seem to spit out a “yes” faster than a label maker. But saying yes to everything doesn’t make us superwomen - it makes us exhausted women.
And let’s be real - half the time we don’t even realize we’ve said yes until we’re ankle-deep in a craft project or googling “last-minute no bake cookies”.
So why do we do this? Sometimes it’s wanting to be helpful. Sometimes it’s guilt. Sometimes it’s just the “yes reflex”. That automatic response that comes out of our mouths before our brain has a chance to process the request.
But here’s the thing: every time we say yes to something that drains us, we’re saying no to something that actually matters. Our energy, our sanity, our time with family, or (crazy idea) a moment to ourselves.
Boundaries Aren’t Bad Words
I used to think boundaries were about being harsh. Like if I said no, the world would assume I was lazy, selfish, or worst of all, that I didn’t care. But boundaries aren’t walls - they’re doors. They let the right things in, and keep the draining stuff out.
And here’s the kicker: when we protect our time and energy, we actually show up better for the things we really care about. Our kids get a calmer mom. Our friends get someone who’s truly present. And hey, we might even get five minutes to drink our coffee while it’s still fresh. ☕
Baby Steps into “No” Territory
If saying no feels like learning a foreign language, start small. You can say “no” without using the word “no” if that helps you ease into it. Practice on low-stakes stuff:
Unfortunately, I can’t host the team party this week, thanks for thinking of me. But possibly another time.
Tonight, I’m unavailable for the meeting, but please email me if you would like my feedback afterwards.
I can’t drop you off for a playdate today, but we can plan for a playdate another day.
The world won’t collapse, I promise. In fact, people usually respect you more when you’re clear about your limits. Plus, when you say no to what drains you, that gives someone else a chance to step up and do what they love.
And here’s the best part: every no you say to the things that drain you is really a big, bold yes to yourself.
Coaching Questions to Reflect On
Before you run off to be a chauffeur or to a committee meeting, take a minute with these:
Think about the last time you said “yes” when you wanted to say “no.” What made you agree - and was it worth the trade-off?
What’s one small, low-stakes situation this week where you could practice saying “no” guilt-free?
Bottom line? You don’t have to turn into the Hulk to set boundaries. You just have to stop handing out your “yes” like it’s confetti. Save it for the things that matter most, then let the rest go.
Until next time, enjoy the journey!
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